watch them and be changed
by EloquentDrivil
Summary: "He's not entirely sure when he fell in love with his best friend, or if there was even a quantifiable time prior to it, but he does remember the exact moment he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she did not, would not, and could not love him back." Winn catches a moment between Alex and Kara. [A/K]


**watch them and be changed**

He's not entirely sure when he fell in love with his best friend, or if there was even a quantifiable time prior to it, but he does remember the exact moment he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she did not, would not, and could not love him back.

It was the night Alex got hurt on a mission; nothing serious, just a laceration down the inside of her calf, but she'd been forced to take bed-rest, lest she inflict more harm with her own stubborn tenacity.

Kara had been frantic when she got the call, then angry when she was ordered to stay put, then deadly quiet. The Supersquad had, at that point, taken it upon themselves to keep her company while she waited for the DEO to drop Alex at Kara's apartment (Kara's idea to stay at her apartment, Alex's idea to get a ride, alone, instead of letting Supergirl escort her).

They'd helped Alex to the couch when she arrived, her face set in annoyance as she pathetically limped the thirty feet from the door to the couch, waving off Kara's attempt to carry her.

He watched Kara's brow pinch in concern when Alex hissed as she gingerly lowered herself onto the cushion, watched strong hands hover, but not touch, then watched Alex grab those hands and irritably tug Kara to sit on the floor beside the couch when she was finally settled.

It was nice, he thought, to have that kind of sibling bond.

Then he'd forced himself to look away from the beautiful, watery smile that pulled at Kara's lips when Alex said something sarcastic, but with soft eyes that belied her tone.

James flitted around Kara's kitchen, chopping, stirring, flicking, whisking, and Winn made a comment that he'd missed his calling as a chef, to which Lucy tilted her glass of wine with an empathetic _amen_.

He'd smiled and, on instinct, turned to look back at Kara, just to make sure she was real, and when his eyes settled, he just knew, and the realization tore every square inch of oxygen from his lungs and he could only blink, dazed, his smile instantly wiped away.

The scene itself was entirely innocuous, honestly.

Alex had stretched out on the sofa, her injured leg propped up on the opposite cushioned arm, her head pillowed on a rolled up throw blanket, her face relaxed, tired, and so softly happy it panged in his chest to witness.

And Kara…

Kara was sat cross-legged on the floor next to Alex's head, as close as she could possibly get without being on the couch herself. Fleeting worry still pinched around her eyes, but she was smiling, her lips soft as she spoke quietly with her sister, her fingers absently tangling and playing with Alex's on the few inches of cushion between their chests.

And the whole thing should have been completely inane, except…

Alex's eyes were soft and bright as they flicked all over her sister's face, drinking her in, and if someone had asked him prior to that moment if the government agent was capable of such open and raw adoration, he would have…well, he supposes he would have said only for Kara, to be honest.

Alex looked at her younger sister like beautiful didn't make sense until Kara walked into the room, and _I love you in my soul_ wasn't big enough, but words to describe the throbbing, aching thing in Alex's chest couldn't be translated into any earthly language, so all she could do was smile.

And he'd always wondered what pure devotion would look like in Kara's eyes, and watching her gaze down at her sister, he wondered no longer.

She looked at the woman like Alex was this perfect, precious being that she couldn't believe actually existed, let alone one that had allowed her to stand in such a glorifying presence.

She looked at Alex like it tore open her chest, over and over again, more painful than anything he could imagine, but still, she looked, devouring the sight like she was ravenous, all while smiling tenderly in complete opposition.

And the juxtaposition was jarring to witness, but so resoundingly _right_ , so complete, so satisfying that he was sure he could survive the rest of his life on nothing but the memory of this one, perfect moment between them.

And god, he couldn't even be upset to see every hope inside him rip apart right before his eyes, because they were beautiful, and right, and more than anything he knew could exist, and he _loved her_ , was _in_ love with her, more than he knew himself capable of before her.

But he didn't love her like _that_.

Not like Alex.

Not like them.

He felt changed in that moment, like his molecules had been altered, broken down, and reformed into a completely new human being, just by baring witness to them. And he'd only been on the sidelines! What it must be like to actually be in that kind of love, he was sure he would never know.

But that…was okay.

He was okay.

Honestly, he couldn't find it in himself to be anything _but_ okay, because for all he'd ever hoped to have with Kara, he found himself suddenly unable to picture her with anyone besides Alex. Including, and especially, himself.

Alex was Kara's very soul, and Kara was Alex's, and Kara was never going to love him; never could love him, even if she wanted to, and she would never want to…

…and he smiled.

 **fin.**


End file.
